I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
