hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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