if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
