went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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