I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
