You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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