Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
