i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
