see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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