How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
