you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
