I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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