the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
