i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
