She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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