Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
