it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
