and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
