I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
