Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
