you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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