The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
