So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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