Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
