If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
