Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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