the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
