I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
