I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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