I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
