Don't you send me to vm
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
