when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
