There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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