The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
