I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
