This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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