As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
