They should really pass out barf bags in church
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He better not be in your backpack
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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