I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
