I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The power of my boobs compel you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize