You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
