hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize