nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
