Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
