so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
