my sisters under your porch take her home
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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