wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just high enough for therapy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize