I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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