miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
