Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
