Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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