Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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