i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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