Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
