its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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