So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
