How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i came on her dog
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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