It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize