I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
