So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
