There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize