Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize