"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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