maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
